Sweat dripped from every pore, I was encased in a dense wet heat. My legs were turned to my right side and my body leaned forward palms pressed into the earth. I groped at the earth, grateful for the wet coolness of the dirt that I could feel under my skin. I put my face directly against the damp earth thankful for the breeze that came from somewhere yet nowhere maybe there was one small crack in the covered door of the lodge. The beat of the drums shook my body and I disconnected with my physical flesh.
Any thought any memory that came up I just intentionally decided to accept and let go. When my body wanted to tighten with the pain of a thought, I relaxed and acknowledge the experience and accepted it. I could feel the heat penetrating and it felt easier for the core to be reached. I could sense this deep deep pain in my heart. I kept mentally surrounding it with love. One round, Two rounds of the rocks, the smoke... this lodge was filled with smoke... three rounds and then a brief interlude.
The door of this lodge and it's roof were low. When the door was opened so that more of the glowing rocks from the fire could be carried in the entrance was masked by steam. It lazily penetrated to cool ever so slightly the interior. My flesh was so warm and outside although the rain was falling gently it was probably 68 degrees. The cooler air felt like an arctic wind and the forces of cold and hot played against my body. The heat felt so good with its penetrating love and it was saturated by prayers.
Round four... I lay my face in the mud and disconnected. Everyone's voices singing in Spanish lent to the experience and since my understanding is so small of Spanish it gave me the feeling of a quiet separation. I heard and understood completely enough to join in the triumphant yell of the end of the ceremony and embraced the cool air as the door opened for the final time. We pushed our face towards the earth and crawled out from the lodge clean and ready to carry on.
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